This morning, I cycled down to Wellington library cafe to do some writing and, more specifically, to make a concrete start on reading the text of some games in development that have been past my way. While my main comments on Duty and Honour are contained within the text itself (which I'll pass back to Neil in the near future), I thought I would share my experiences of testing the character creation chapter.
First off, I think the chapter would really benefit from a radical re-ordering of the text. Many concepts are introduced by name, yet are not explained in any way until much later in the chapter. Even something as simple as a short paragraph about each element of the character at the very start would aid clarity.
Secondly, integrating the character creation examples into the text, to illustrate how things work as you go along would, to my eyes, be another benefit (although, there are benefits to consolidating it all at the end of the chapter. Perhaps with a re-ordering, this might work better).
There are also things like simply telling the reader what they are looking at. the section on Measures tells me what each measure covers, but nothing tells me what a Measure IS in the context of the game.
Oh, and I think the game could do with less in the way of references to and examples from Sharpe. Copyright issues aside, I've not read the books, so examples that referenced characters or action from them left me with no understanding of the point that was being made (this applies to the whole text, not just character creation). As an example, there is a bit near the end where various kinds of lady are being discussed, and one is referenced as being like a Sharpe character. With no knowledge of who this character was, the example served no purpose.
Anyway, I had a go at creating a character, and here is how he worked out:
Sergeant Otto Helmholtz
Nationality: Hanoverian
Religion: Catholic
Social Class: Military (rank)
Ages of Enlistment: 18
Starting Rank: Private
Profession: Cavalry
Years of Service: 7
Service Record
Year 1: 3 Clubs (Menial role somewhere, decided to being a stable hand doing a lot of mucking out)
Year 2: Joker, card chosen: Ace Diamonds (promoted to Corporal)
Year 3: 10 Diamonds (wide ranging campaign)
Year 4: 8 Diamonds (wide ranging campaign)
Year 5: Joker, card chosen: Ace Hearts (promoted to Sergeant)
Year 6: Joker, card chosen: Ace Diamonds (but, as far as I understand, you can't start higher than a Sergeant for NCO, so no promotion)
Year 7: Jack Clubs (non combat, but with responsibility, decided that he was sent to help train young cavalry recruits)
Loot
Year 1: Favour from an officer (Captain Freiherr von dem Bach of the 1st Regiment of Dragoons, Royal German Legion)
Year 2: Favour from an officer (Captain Freiherr von dem Bach yet again)
Year 3: Unusual weapon for rank (a valuable old sword, taken from an elderly Prussian officer)
Year 4: Half a years pay
Year 5: Regimental disgrace (this is the same year as he was promoted, so I imagined that men under his command had committed a serious crime for which he had to take responsibility)
Year 6: A curio of some kind
Year 7: unusual weapon for rank (a matched set of exquisite duelling pistols, given to him b a noble young lieutenant as thanks for wise words during training)
Guts: 5
Discipline: 4
Influence: 5
Charm: 2
Talents
Awareness 2
Command 4
Courtesy 2
First Aid 3
Haggle 2
Riding 4
Scavenge 1
Scripture 1
Soldiering 4
Tactics 3
Traits
Cheat death
Duellist
Natural rider
Read and write
Reputations
Loyalty (regiment) 4
Bravery 4
Favour (Captain Smith-Wavell, of the 12th Royal Lancers) 2
Mercy 1
Honour 3
So, that was my first character for Duty and Honour. Overall, I think the system does work well, but does need substantial re-organisation. I do have further comments on the mechanics of character creation, but as I've already added them to my document notes, I won't waste tie by repeating them here.
Cheers
Malc
Inspired by Malcolm's
Submitted by Mike Sands on Thu, 25/10/2007 - 07:00.
Inspired by Malcolm's comment, I had a go too. He's right about the general shape of the chapter. Plenty of things should probably be rearranged.
One particular thing I had an issue with was the yearly Talent and Measure point - the phrasing "For every year of battle..." suggested that maybe some years didn't count. I assume (and the examples seemed to back up) that this should have been "For every year of service..."
I did, however, have a great deal of fun making up Corporal James Larkin.
He's spent a lot of time helping the quartermaster, and between that and his campaigns appears to have basically spent his 10 years stealing everything he found that wasn't nailed down (and some things that were). He has been caught a few times - and flogged once - but generally has come out on top (mostly diamonds and clubs for loot). Basically a lovable scoundrel (I think that just reading Pratchett's Making Money influenced me to make him that way).
Wow
Submitted by Neil Gow on Thu, 25/10/2007 - 07:18.
First off - and I will probably say this a lot - thank you immensely for taking the time to do this. I am constantly amazed by anyone who takes their personal time to help me out on things like this. It is a truly wonderful show of community.
Secondly thanks for the comments. As you will recall there was some stuff that I could have edited but decided to just leave it and stop the iteration? Well the hard text of chargen was one of those areas. It was the first thing that was written and I think it suffers from an evolution in my understanding of where I want the game to move. Hence the proliferation of Sharpe references? Good call on them.
Just one note on Malcolms comments - and something that should definitely be in the text - the standard deck of cards used should have ONE joker rather than the full three. That would stop the rather prolific nature of your promotion.
cheers
Neil
I finished reading D&H too
Submitted by Andrew Kenrick on Thu, 25/10/2007 - 07:57.
I finished reading D&H too last night, so will chime in with a "me too" about character creation. Good stuff, but maybe needs a reorder/more of an introduction.
Actually, the bit I found overwhelming was the big list of traits, which came as something of a shock after the nice, straightforward approach to generating your service record. Maybe something as simple as grouping them into categories, or offering suggestions (like, if you want to play a gung-ho cavalryman who leads from the front, take this and this").
I have some comments about the later parts of the book too, particularly skirmishes and battles but they can wait for another thread! Good stuff tho Neil - colour me impressed!
And another thing...
Submitted by Mike Sands on Fri, 26/10/2007 - 21:54.
The history section should probably include some shared history for the group. The characters should generally be a group of comrades, who will have been through many of the same things. Even if some of the characters are new, previous meetings, shared enemies etc would probably help bind the group together.
One way to do this might be to allow people to optionally draw shared cards for a year (or some years) they served. This would mean that the characters have certain shared experiences right at the outset. You could also vary it a bit - maybe one year, everyone shares the card draw. Another year, maybe two people do and the others do their own thing.
Based on this feedback...
Submitted by Neil Gow on Sat, 27/10/2007 - 12:55.
... I have made the following edits
- added a two page synopsis of what measures, talents, traits, reputation and regiment are, how they are rated and how they are used in the game.
- added a 'ten step' guide to character creation as a reference whilst creating and a primer before the process starts.
- changed Traits and Background around in the process so that it flows more naturally.
- seperated the large Traits list into five sections (Personal, Military, Social, Combat and Professional) to aid comprehension.
- added a missing 'Useful in a Scrap' trait which is the missing +1 card brawl trait
- Removed in-game text Sharpe references from the document
I am working on adding the following
- adding some 'Nosey Comments' in the Talents section that will give some easy use 'packages' of Talents for quicker play and inspiration.
- looking at an optional rule around connecting the characters histories.
I quite like the combined long character generation example but I'm also aware that the chargen section has no real examples in the text and the rest of the document is rammed with them. I think what I will do is leave the long form example as it stands (I'm a great believer in examples in games) and then add another signature character to run through the chargen section. Which means Peter will have to do me some more pictures. Oh the horror!
Great stuff guys - I really appreciate the fruits of your experience.
Neil
Oh, just a minor point, but
Submitted by Andrew Kenrick on Sat, 27/10/2007 - 13:09.
Oh, just a minor point, but whilst you're brushing up the examples ... Captain Lonsdale turns into Captain Blake midway through the game. Not sure if it's intentional or not, but it is a little confusing!
More Nosey Comments please! They work nicely in Burning Wheel, and I can't think of a more qualified person to comment on the game!