Hi all,
About, Christ, I don't really remember but anyway it was years ago, I posted some ideas for a game on The Forge. Then I worked on it a bit and playtested and wrote a second draft.
It's about 12 pages. It needs other people to look it over and tell me what does and doesn't work. If anyone would be kind enough to read this over and give me some pointers I'd really appreciate it.
Things I know are wrong with it:
The text of the mechanics part seems somewhat dry. There's a fine line between making the rules interesting to read and making them clear. Part of my job is technical writing, so I tend to naturally err on the side of "dull as hell".
There are supposed to be some more example plotlines in the back. I haven't written those yet.
The idea was to write a game that could be easily explained and understood and played in a single sitting with no preparation. Also one where there was an element of Game to it, while having lots of narration and stuff.
The current draft can be seen here:
Flavour
Submitted by Malcolm Craig on Fri, 01/12/2006 - 13:15.
Hi Rich and welcome!
I've not had a chance to have a full look through the mechanics yet, but I thought I'd take a moment to focus on your question about the tone of the writing.
I thionk you're correct in identifying it as slightly 'dry'. It's informative, but doesn't really fill me with the feeling of a cheesy action movie. What is Danger Dudes all about? It's about guys who walk through a hail of bullets and come out with just a mild sweat and a grubby vest. It's about copes who get tortured badly, but still escape and kick the ass of the villain. It's about larger than life heros who defeat alien invaders with a twig and some good old fashioned know how. There's karate, gunfights, car chases and action! I want to feel that when I read the text. So things like:
"Yippee ki ay motherfucker! This is Danger Dudes, a game where you kick the ass of the bad guys wearing just a vest and carrying your trusty Beretta! Want to walk through a wall of gunfire to rescue the beautiful girl? Defuse a bomb with just your Swiss army knife and a packet of Rizla? Kick the ass of more bad guys than you can shake and AK at? Then, right here, right now, what you need is Danger Dudes!"
OK, so this is just my personal interpretation of things, but you get where I'm heading with this.
In terms of examples of play and character within the text, you can still achieve clarity, whilst using exciting and engaging examples.So, say you're giving and example of the Cool Factors for a character, it could go like this:
"Dave has decided on his character: Blaine Rockatanskty, a maverick cop on the edge with a contempt for authority and an eye for the dames. He takes no shit and doles out the harshness to the bad guys. So what's cool about Blaine? Well, he's a dead-eye shot with his .44 mganum revolver, a gun that's helped him see of many a terrorist, kidnapper and illegal arms dealer. He's also got style: the ladies love his suave good looks, his tailored suits and smooth talking way. But he's a man on the edge! He's a bad boy they need to tame!
So, Blaine has the following cool factors:
Deadly with his revolver
Stylish, smooth and suave, especially with the ladies"
I'm not sure if this is your cup of tea, but for me it captures more of the feel of a cheesy action movie.
Cheers
Malcolm
Contested Ground Studios
Malcolm,
Submitted by Rich Stokes on Fri, 01/12/2006 - 13:44.
Malcolm,
Exactly the kind of thing I'm looking for, thanks. And in just 20 minutes too :)
I've been concentrating on clarity for this version. That is, some people misinterpreted rules in the first draft and the main purpose of the second was to clarify issues. I really need to concentrate on flavour for the third iteration.
I decided that any layout I did for the book would need lots of explosions. I need to somehow get those explosions into the text of the game also.
{edit} Maybe I ought to study the back-of-box text from a whole bunch of these movies...
Write your own too!
Submitted by Matt on Fri, 01/12/2006 - 14:16.
After you've read a few, write a summary of the game in that style too.
I think it'd be a useful exercise both in terms of pitching the game and getting a feel for the writing style.
-Matt
Realms Publishing